


what i wanted to say

by flyingroses121



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Confessions, First Kiss, M/M, tw for drunkness, tw for underage drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:07:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27870498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingroses121/pseuds/flyingroses121
Summary: richie confesses to eddie.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 48





	what i wanted to say

**Author's Note:**

> maybe this is a kin mem... no it isnt yes it is no it isnt <3 yes it is

It was not-so-surprisingly easy to get alcohol as a minor in Derry.

Richie tried to act as normal as possible as he walked, carrying a pitch black bag in one hand. He was supposed to meet Eddie at five, and it was… almost four thirty. He had plenty of time.

In fact, this was one of the very few times he was early to anything. Most of the time he was either directly on time or just a minute or two late. He hated the saying, “Early is on time, on time is late”, because he figured if they wanted them earlier, they should tell him to come earlier.

Either way, he was voluntarily early to this. Drinking with Eddie. Butterflies kicked up in his stomach when he thought about it.

Richie would have allowed himself to get caught up in thought, but he had to be careful in this part of Derry. Half of the town was full of abandoned buildings that people speculated about renovating and fixing up, but they never did anything with. Why would they? This was the dingiest- and creepiest- part of town. When Richie realized that the Neibolt house was two streets away, he shuddered. He just wouldn’t think about it. Or tell Eddie.

Richie got to their agreed meeting spot soon enough. A partly roofless building that still had fully intact stairs, and “seating” at the top. He started up the stairs and carefully toed around the part of the leftover roof that was still rotting.

He got to the ledge and set the bag down before hopping on top of the ledge. You could see a lot of Derry from here- from a distance, most of the town was actually really pretty. Especially when the sun was setting.

Richie had no idea how long he was up there until he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He turned just in time to see Eddie make it to the roof. Eddie looked down at the half rotted roof and suppressed a gag. “Do you know how dangerous and disgusting this is, Rich?” He asked, looking up at the other boy.

Richie shrugged, his eyebrows raising as he hopped off of the ledge. “I mean, yeah. You need help getting over?” He held out a hand.

Eddie shook his head as he carefully made his way around, stepping on the sturdiest parts. “I’m good.” He said as he got over, hopping a little.

Good fucking god, he was so cute. Richie let his arm fall and nodded. “Cool.” He picked up the bag and put it on the center of the ledge. “All I was able to get was this hard cider stuff and this strawberry stuff. You want some of the strawberry?” He turned to Eddie, holding a bottle of pink liquid by the neck.

Eddie nodded and came forward to take it. “In case we need to sober up, I brought some stuff. Have you eaten today?” He put a hand on the fanny pack around his waist.

“Yeah, I ate before I got this stuff.” Richie handed him the bottle and took out some of the hard cider for himself. He hopped back up on the ledge and took his bottle opener out of his jacket pocket. “C’mere, Eds. I promise it’s safe.” He gave him a comforting smile and held out his hand again.

Eddie took a deep breath and nodded. “I trust you.” He came closer to Richie and held out his bottle.

Richie opened it and watched as Eddie hopped up onto the ledge and sat across from him. He took a drink of the strawberry stuff and raised his eyebrows. “This is really good.” He said with a small smile.

“Yeah? I might try one after this thing.” He held up his drink just before opening it and taking a sip. His face scrunched up instinctively. He liked the taste, it was just… strong.

Eddie snickered. “Too much for you, Tozier?” He taunted as he took another drink.

“You try it! It’s strong shit.” He held the bottle out toward him.

Eddie rolled his eyes and took it, taking a small sip. Richie then laughed as he watched Eddie try not to recoil at the taste, ignoring the fact his lips were touching the same bottle his own lips had touched.

“Fuck you.” Eddie handed the bottle back to him as he tried to not smile and laugh with Richie. His laugh was contagious- a sickness he was more than willing to catch.

Richie flipped him off and took another drink. “Anyway… how have you been lately? Seems like you’ve been stuck at home more often.”

Eddie scoffed and rolled his eyes with a shake of his head. “Mom is getting more and more controlling. It fucking sucks.” He took a longer drink.

Richie’s eyebrows creased as he frowned. “I’m sorry, Eds. She fucking sucks.”

Eddie blinked and slowly nodded. “She does fucking suck, huh? I mean, who would treat and convince their child that they’re so sick and pump them full of fake pills?” He looked up at Richie with an angry expression. “I mean…” he scoffed and shook his head once more, looking out over the town.

“Yeah. It’s shitty, and you shouldn’t have to go through it.” Richie replied. “If it’s any consolation, you know you’re always welcome at my place.”

“Thanks, Rich. That means a lot.” He looked at him and nodded. “I like being at your house. I feel safe when I’m with you.” He paused, then continued with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. “And your family. You and your family make me feel safe.” He nodded firmly, almost like he was trying to convince himself.

Richie blinked a couple times before nodding. “Yeah. Mom and dad would tell you the same thing.” He smiled and nodded once again before taking another drink.

Eddie was silent for a little bit, simply drinking and enjoying Richie’s company. He turned to look at the skyline above Derry. He would almost call it beautiful. But he knew better- everything in Derry had some sort of catch. Nothing was perfect.

Except…

“Hey Eddie, do you think I could hit that fence over there if I threw this bottle hard enough?”

Never fucking mind.

His head snapped to face Richie and his stupid fucking grin. “Don’t you fucking dare- how the hell did you drink it that fast? You’re gonna get fucking blasted and I’m not gonna explain to anyone as to why you’re- RICHIE!”

All while Eddie was talking, Richie had thrown the bottle. It didn’t even make it past the road, smashing to bits right in the middle of the asphalt. Eddie sat there, mouth agape, while Richie snickered and burst into laughter. “Holy shit, that’s gonna fucking suck!”

“You are so fucking stupid.” Eddie sighed and shook his head, rubbing his temple.

Richie shrugged as he took out a strawberry drink. “And hell yeah I’m gonna get fucking blasted. That, besides hanging out with you, was the whole point of this endeavor.” He cracked it open and took a long drink. “Shit, this tastes so much better than that cider. Do you want another one?” He said as he pocketed his bottle opener.

Eddie shook his head and put his empty bottle on the ground beside him. “I think I’m okay for now. I don’t feel like getting fucked up.”

“Suit yourself.” Richie shrugged and took another long drink.

Eddie crossed his arms and went back to looking at the Derry skyline. The sun was starting to set, turning the sky into an orange and pink galaxy. Once again, he would almost call it beautiful.

He turned his head back to Richie when he heard yet another bottle open. “Richie, slow down. Please. You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

Richie took a big drink before looking at Eddie and wiping his mouth. “I’m fine. I told you, the goal is to get fucked up, my dear darling.” He said with a smirk. He hiccuped, coughed, then started to beat on his chest. “Something’s stuck, just gotta-” he quickly covered his mouth before letting out a belch, “there it is. Better.” He laughed softly as Eddie scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“So fucking stupid.”

“And yet you’re here, my love.”

Though that was something Richie had been calling him for a long time, Eddie still felt warm whenever he said it. Something about Richie Tozier calling him his love…

Nope, nope, nope. Fuck that thought. Take that thought and lock it up for as long as possible.

Richie drained the drink soon. He was starting to feel spacey, giggling at every little thing he could find. “Holy shit! An inchworm!” He said with a gasp, turning his head and pointing at a tiny, light green worm.

Eddie let out an exclamation of disgust as he fidgeted. “Gross. Keep it away.” He pulled both of his legs up onto the ledge and wrapped his arms around them.

Richie shrugged and took out another drink- another cider. “Yeah, yeah, of course. I wasn’t gonna touch him.” He shrugged and popped it open.

“Last one, Rich. At least until you feel clear headed again.”

Richie rolled his eyes and scoffed as he took a long drink. “Okay, okay.” He had started to slur his words. “This tastes so much better now that I’m drunk.” He said with a laugh.

Eddie couldn’t help but smile. “I bet. After a couple of drinks, everything tastes the same.” He said as he started to space out at a specific brick beside Richie’s foot that dangled off the ledge.

Richie nodded, letting his head tilt as he watched Eddie. Ever since they were kids, he had wanted to hold his hand. As they got older, those desires shifted. He wanted to hold Eddie close, play with his hair, whisper a joke in his ear and laugh with him… he wanted to kiss him.

Richie wanted to kiss Eddie. He wanted to tell him how he really felt. And he was going to.

Richie took a deep breath before taking a big drink. He put his bottle down on the ledge beside the bag, breaking Eddie out of his trance. Richie shuffled around and stood up quickly, wobbling on his feet for a moment.

“Shit, Rich!” Eddie stood up with him, taking one of his hands then the opposite arm. “Don’t do that shit, you scared the piss out of me.” He said, concern written all over his expression.

Richie turned to Eddie and took both of his hands. “Eddie. I…”

Shit. He didn't think he would get this far.

Eddie stood there, hand in hand with Richie. “Richie..?” He said after a moment of silence.

Richie was frozen. He couldn’t answer Eddie, though he wanted to. “I, uh… I…”

“I love you.”

Richie stopped as Eddie finished what he wanted to say. “I love you.” Richie repeated. “That’s what I wanted to say.” He nodded firmly, as if he had just given the answer to an obvious question. Like he was sure. “I love you, Eddie.”

Eddie’s lips stretched into a smile, his expression softer than Richie had ever seen. “I love you, too, Richie.” He said as he gave his hands a firm squeeze.

Richie nodded once more. “That’s it. That’s what I wanted to say.”

Eddie nodded back at him. “I’m glad you did. I’m… so glad you did.” He stepped forward, placing a kiss on Richie’s lips. “You’re right. That cider tastes awful.”

Richie didn’t even hear what Eddie had said. He blinked a couple times before kissing Eddie. Then kissing him again, and again, and again. Their arms wrapped around each other as the sun set behind them, kissing over and over.

Eddie pulled back and took a breath. He looked out over the ledge and sighed softly. “We should get home before it gets too dark. I don’t want to be on this side of town when it’s dark.”

Richie nodded, smiling and laughing. “You’re so smart.”

Eddie helped Richie clean up, pouring the rest of the cider out over the edge.

They held hands on their way back to town. Eddie walked Richie home before heading back to his own house, head full of love and alcohol and doubts. He would confront those thoughts in the morning.

-

Richie woke up to banging on his window.

He sat up with a groan, holding his head in one hand. Last night was…

Holy shit.

He had kissed Eddie yesterday.

His eyes widened as the realization set in. He had made out with Eddie last night on the roof of an abandoned building. And he had been drunk for it.

The banging sounded once more. He squinted his eyes against the yellow light and moved his curtains aside.

Eddie was there. He motioned for Richie to open the window, his movements jerky and seemingly in a hurry.

Richie opened the window and rubbed his eyes. “Good morning to you, too.”

“Did you mean it last night?”

Straight to the point. Too straight to the point. “What?”

“Last night. Did you mean it? When you said you loved me?”

Eddie sat there and waited for Richie to answer, his stomach in a knot. Richie took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah, I did. I love you, Eddie. I have for a while.”

Eddie sighed and let himself smile and relax. “Good. ‘Cause I meant it, too. I want to be your boyfriend.”

Richie felt his heart leap. “Come inside? We can talk about this more.”

“Be there soon.”


End file.
